I got chris browned last night
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
