yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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