This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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