she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
