im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
tell your sister to shave her snatch
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
