I bet he comes in French.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
