Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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