it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
