One girl and one boy is just not enough.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
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