that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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