So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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