I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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