WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
how can u be prego again
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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