i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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