There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize
