are you still at the devil's house?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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