lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
