i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
God I need to hump something, right now.
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