How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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