He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
