Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
