You can't special order awesome
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
