It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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