Three words: puerto rican gang bang
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
