that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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