Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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