How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
