I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
