The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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