Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Help. Why am I so naked?
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