these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
