After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
