last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I just googled if crying burns calories
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
