i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
