It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Found your dick twin last night
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
