the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
