They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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