and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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