dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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