I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
