Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
