I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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