i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
