wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
