Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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