can we get nightvision for the apartment?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
