If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
