haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
FUCK WHALES
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
