the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
there is glitter all over my balls
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
