just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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