I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
