Your tits are I can't wait for
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
