I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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